What is Joe's Garage?

Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III
Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III cover
Studio album by Frank Zappa
Released	September 1979 (Act I) November 19, 1979 (Acts II & III)
Recorded	April-June 1979
Genre	Rock
Length	115:21
Label	Zappa Records Rykodisc
Producer	Frank Zappa
Professional reviews
All Music Guide link ''Rolling Stone link
Frank Zappa chronology
Orchestral Favorites (1979) Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III (1979) Tinsel Town Rebellion (1981)
Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III
Photo used as the cover for Joe's Garage: Acts II & III.

Joe's Garage: Acts I, II & III is a 1979 rock opera by Frank Zappa. The album features Ike Willis as the voice of "Joe", a stereotypical garage band youth who unwittingly journeys through the miasma of the music business. Zappa provides the voice of the "Central Scrutinizer" character —a mechanical voice which narrates the story and haunts Joe's psyche with McCarthyistic 50s-era discouragement and "scrutiny."

The album was originally issued in two parts, the first part being a single LP of Act I, and the second part being a double-LP set of Acts II & III. All three acts were later issued together as a box set, and on compact disc as a double-CD. The major themes of the story include groupie migration, mockery of Scientology, appliance fetishism, garage bands, and above all censorship of music as an artform (eerily predicting the formation of the PMRC).

Story

Act I

Joe used to be a nice boy who would cut his neighbors' grass until he discovered rock music, then he would spend all his time playing loud music in his garage, where the neighbors would often call the cops on him. He loses his girlfriend, Mary, a Roman Catholic girl, to a band called "Toad-O" with whom she goes on the road, sleeping with the band's roadies. Eventually, they abandon her in Miami when she is too tired to do anything.

Mary enters a wet t-shirt contest to try to make enough money to get back home. Joe hears of her exploits, and in retaliation, has sex with a girl who works at the Jack-In-The-Box named Lucille, who gives him Gonorrhea which he describes while having fun with the Latin name: [Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus] (though he claims it came from a toilet seat).

Act II

Joe turns to religion for help, and "pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover at the First Church of Appliantology." He is identified as a "latent appliance fetishist". When he asks if he should "come out of the closet" he is instead instructed to "go into the closet" to achieve "sexual gratification through the use of machines". In the next song, we learn "The Closet" is the name of a club where humans can copulate with appliances.

Joe ends up destroying a XQJ-37 Nuclear Powered Pansexual Roto-Plooker with a golden shower, and is thrown in prison after being unable to pay for the damage, (He gave all his money to the Church of Appliantology) where he is repeatedly gang raped ("Plooked") by former music executives when they're not snorting lines of detergent pretending it's cocaine. This gang is led by a shockingly endowed former executive of a major record company, known as "Bald-Headed John: King of the Plookers." The song "Dong Work for Yuda" makes a reference to Bald-Headed John and his hobby of "Plooking" new inmates:

"John's got a sausage, yeah man/ John's got a sausage, yeah man/ John's got a sausage that'll make you fart/ John's got a sausage that'll break your heart/ Make you fart/ And break your heart/ A-don't-a-bend-a-over if you are smart."

Act III

When Joe is released from prison, music has become illegal. He loses his sanity, and begins imagining all the guitar notes he cannot play and a journalist documenting his thoughts. Eventually, he comes to terms with the fact that music is gone, and gets a job at the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen, frosting muffins.

This last act is a direct reference to Zappas own experience of incarceration, when he was imprisoned for ten days during his youth for producing pornography without a licence. While incarcerated he was unable to play his guitar so passed the time by imagining lead solos and guitar licks he would like to play.

Cast

• Central Scrutinizer, Larry, L. Ron Hoover, Father Riley & Buddy Jones – Frank Zappa
• Joe – Ike Willis
• Mary – Dale Bozzio
• Mrs. Borg – Denny Walley
• Officer Butzis – Al Malkin
• Sy Borg – Warren Cuccurullo & Ed Mann
• Bald-Headed John – Terry Bozzio
• The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen Chorus – Al Malkin, Warren Cucurullo, Dale Bozzio, Geordie Hormel, Barbara Issak & most of the people who work at Village Recorders (circa 1979).

Track listing

All songs written, arranged, and conducted by Frank Zappa.

Act I

1. "Central Scrutinizer" – 3:28
2. "Joe's Garage (song)" – 6:10
3. "Catholic Girls" – 4:26
4. "Crew Slut" – 6:31
5. "Fembot in a Wet T-Shirt" (aka "Wet T-Shirt Nite") – 4:45
6. "On the Bus" (aka "Toad-O Line") – 4:19
7. "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" – 2:36
8. "Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up" – 5:43
9. "Scrutinizer Postlude" – 1:35

Act II

1. "A Token of My Extreme" – 5:30
2. "Stick It Out" – 4:34
3. "Sy Borg" – 8:56
4. "Dong Work for Yuda" – 5:03
5. "Keep It Greasey" – 8:22
6. "Outside Now" – 5:50

Act III

1. "He Used to Cut the Grass" – 8:35
2. "Packard Goose" – 11:34
3. "Watermelon in Easter Hay" – 9:09
4. "A Little Green Rosetta" – 8:15

Personnel

• Frank Zappa – Arranger, Conductor, Keyboards, Vocals, Producer, Main Performer, Guitar
• Warren Cuccurullo – Rhythm Guitar, Vocals, Choir, Chorus, Organ, Guitar
• Denny Walley – Vocals, Slide Guitar, Guitar
• Craig Twister Steward – Harmonica
• Jeff – Sax (Tenor)
• Marginal Chagrin – Sax (Baritone)
• Patrick O'Hearn – Wind, Bass
• Peter Wolf – Keyboards
• Stumuk – Sax (Baritone), Sax (Bass)
• Tommy Mars – Keyboards
• Vinnie Colaiuta – Drums, Percussion
• Arthur Barrow – Vocals, Bass
• Ed Mann – Vocals, Percussion
• Dale Bozzio – Vocals
• Al Malkin – Vocals
• Ike Willis – Vocals
• Barbara Isaak – Choir, Chorus, Assistant
• Geordie Hormel – Choir, Chorus
• Terry Bozzio – Guest Vocals
• Ferenc Dobronyi – Cover Design
• Steve Alsberg – Project Coordinator
• Joe Chiccarelli – Engineer, Mixing, Recording
• Norman Seeff – Photography, Cover Photo
• John Williams – Artwork
• Steve Nye – Remixing
• Mick Glossop – Remixing
• Stan Ricker – Mastering
• Jack Hunt – Mastering
• Thomas Nordegg – Assistant
• Tom Cummings – Assistant

See also

• Telefunken, for the U-47 microphone cited in songs "Crew Slut" and "Sy Borg"
• Dystopia
• Scientology
• Catholic Youth Organization

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