Being prepared can make a difference between a positive parent/teacher conference and a disaster. When students struggle, it's very easy for both parents and teachers to become defensive and on guard during conferences. If you can help set a positive tone, you will find it much easier to get the information and support you need from the teacher. If you follow some of these suggestions, you will increase the likelihood of a great conference:
Begin with:
"_______(my child) is so excited to have you as a teacher. He said the other day __________(something positive your child said about the teacher or the class).
Then add:
" I did a little research and found out that you are especially strong at teaching ____________." (Every teacher, even poor ones, have a strength).
Continue with:
"We want to be supportive of your efforts in the classroom." If your child has been having difficulty, you might want to say that you know it must be frustrating when children don't progress as quickly as expected. Express a desire to know as much as you can about how your child is doing in class.
Questions to ask:
At what level is my child reading? What is considered on grade level for his age and time of year? What assessments does the teacher/school use? What does his testing profile show? National scores State scores Diagnostic measures Teacher observations What are my child's strengths? What are his challenges? What are you working on now and how can I support at home? Is he happy, engaged in the work? Does he have friends? Is his behavior good? Does he stay on task? Does he complete assignments? How do you grade?
Include:
This might help you understand ___________(your child).
He likes...
This works for me...
Any recent trauma (divorce, death, abuse, health problem, etc)...
End with:
What is the best way to communicate with the teacher -- phone, notes, email?
Thank you so much for all you do.
Please feel free to contact me at any time.
Additional ways you can show support and also let the teacher and school know you care are:
Show up at school activities when possible. Volunteer at the school when you can. Send a thank-you card, if the teacher does something you appreciate. Say something nice about the teacher to the principal (word gets back).
Finally, resist the urge to gripe about your child's teacher or school in front of your child, regardless of how frustrated you are. If you don't respect the teacher, your child will have difficulty too. This doesn't mean you should let a unacceptable situation continue without protest. If your child is in a damaging circumstance, act to resolve it or remove him from that setting. But seriously resist the urge to continually trash the teacher at home. Parents that do this, even if some of the complaints are justified, end up with children who have serious behavior problems at school.
